


Not what I meant

by TheCherrypop



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Dom/sub, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCherrypop/pseuds/TheCherrypop
Summary: Aziraphale tells Crowley he wants to try BDSMBible Discussion and Study Meeting.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	Not what I meant

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a Twitter meme.

Crowley walks in the Bookshop as almost every day since the war that never happened and found the source of his many restless nights sitting in his desk talking to humans.

"We are very glad to find new people that share our interest, some find it off-putting" explains a red headed woman with a smirk.

"Don’t worry about it with me, I am a long-time follower" Aziraphale smiles.

The Humans laugh softly.

"We would love to see you there" says a friendly looking man in his twenties next to the woman the same age. 

"Call me if you need anything." the man gently offers his business card.

Aziraphale takes the card and nods.

The couple heads off the door holding hands, Crowley saw the woman tremble every time the man touched a little remote on his hands. Humans have unlimited imagination for sin, he thought. 

After they left, the sign miraculously turned to close leaving only two entities inside.

"Young love," says the angel after a sight, " Nowadays is quite rare."

"What did they want? The Kamasutra?" 

"Oh no," he shakes his head " They came for my expertise." 

"Please tell me you didn't join a cult or a pyramid scheme” Crowley groans while he sits on a chair like his spine is rubber.

"Of course, not " flusters the angel " they asked me about a book referring to the ancient punishments some Catholics inflicted on themselves to achieve salvation, and as my duty, I had to lecture them between the difference of worship and deathly experiences.

"Hmm," muttered Crowley, looking for a bottle to empty tonight.

"They were very fond of my knowledge and invited me to a meeting " says Aziraphale as he sits in the couch. “Also, she said they make "delightful stuffs” and I don’t want to disappoint them." 

The angel wondered what exactly she meant, he is tired of trying to keep up with the ever-changing use of language.

Meanwhile, the last statement draws the attention of the demon, who has been very well informed of the dual intentions of humans throughout the millennia.

"Show me the card the man gave you," says Crowley trying to hide his interest.

He has seen many amazing things over his long life, but this is something he never expected to see in Aziraphale's hands.

________

The Chamber.

333-Phone-Number

London . Street 123

By appointment please

_________

Crowley bit his lips trying to hold back a chuckle "What exactly do you think you've signed for?" 

"BDSM, of course " says Aziraphale confident looking straight to Crowley’s dark glasses.

The demon opened his eyes in disbelief after the revelation, this not only means he is aware of the meaning, but is willing to participate in it, but with humans...

Nothing makes sense. 

Behind his disbelief lies a growing jealousy and even more so, hope, for a feeling he has been trying to stifle since the literal beginning.

"That's.... risky " words stammered out of Crowley's throat" I mean--- for an Angel".

"Why?" He pours himself a glass of Wine, "Angels have been engaging in such activities since the earlier times."

"Have they?" Crowley takes a long sip from his glass to let this information sink in, "And they dared to throw  _ me _ out? "

"I don't understand you, my dear." He looks at him in confusion. "It's the closest thing humans have to divine nature."

"I can't argue with that," his eyelids fluttered shut as he tried to say every word carefully, "I just can't picture you in such ... position."

Except he could, and he has.

Crowley sounds uncertain underneath the slurring, even a little hurt, and it hurts to imagine Aziraphale with someone else, 

The snake was aware that angels meddled with humans before, but now it was frowned upon, and Aziraphale never seemed to be that kind of angelic being, let alone of engaging kinky sex.

Also, after six thousand year a tiny -very little - part of Crowley longs for the idea of meaningful physical contact with the angel. Heck, he has devoted entire nights to illusions he would never say aloud.

He grabs the wine glass firmly and takes another round. Maybe extraordinary amounts of alcohol can make the words come easily.

Aziraphale realizes the sudden change in his friend's behaviour and tries to change the subject.

"How was your day?"

"Great," he answers quickly. "When's the meeting? "He stutters and blames himself for sounding like a fool.

"Perhaps next Saturday," he says surprised by Crowley's sudden interest in the Holy Word "I'd invite you but I don't think it's your cup of tea."

“You don’t know that,” flusters the demon feeling his face turning red.

“It’s quite obvious my dear.” He looks at him suspiciously.

Crowley glans down at his own thin frame and glares at his hands.

Aziraphale is getting tired of this running joke and asks him directly. "Why are you so interested in Bible Discussion and Study Meeting anyway?”

“Pardon?” Crowley spills his drink.

"Bible Study and Discussion Meeting, B.D.S.M." the angel looks at him a little anotes "You've been asking about it all night and it's not funny anymore, Crowley."

Crowley couldn't have laughed harder if he tried.

"What? What's so funny?" says Aziraphale, dumbfounded

"Oh angel," Crowley holds his stomach trying to stop giggles coming out of his mouth "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into."

______________________________________________________________________________

Aziraphale sits next to Crowley on the couch, nervously drumming his fingers against the old laptop. 

Crowley places it on his lap. 

"I'm so glad I invented the Internet," a naughty smirk comes out of his mouth "clears up so many doubts."

They googled the acronym and Aziraphale wasn't sure what to expect, immediately 417,000,000 results appeared on the screen in 0.39 seconds. Hundreds, if not millions of articles, photos, videos and more, explaining the meaning of BDSM.

Don’t be mistaken, people claim for God in those videos, but not in the classic way.

“I feel like a fool” says Aziraphale blushing while looking at wips, odd leather costumes, people strained in uncomfortable position and tons of sexual content.

Crowley leaves his sunglasses on the table and shares a tender glance at the angel "you're a very smart angel, humans just like to name every single nasty thought they have," he pauses " make them feel less lonely" 

“That makes sense, but what I cannot comprehend is why the couple thought I would be into it”

Aziraphale blushed even more when he realized he had just asked Crowley, not that they don't talk openly, but feeling their legs touching while speculating about his sexuality made things harder.

“Well, you were very keen to explain the difference between pleasure and pain, maybe they took it as a hint.”

Aziraphale leans back, remembering the conversation with the humans " I was shown this short writing on her phone posted under a blue bird icon that reads "Join B.D.S.M: Bible Study and Discussion Meeting. We all laughed and I thought they were happily in love. 

"Nowadays they call them Memes," says Crowley as he searches the Internet for an example of the odd word . "Look."

Millions more results appear on the screen and Aziraphel takes a moment to understand what is so funny about the green ogre. 

"I can't let this happen to me anymore," Aziraphale says, a little worried and trying not to meet Crowley's yellow gaze. "I don't want humans to misinterpret my words.

They both drink another glass. 

"We could do more research, think about it as expanding your vocabulary." Murmurs a drunk Crowley trying to look cool with the idea, searching for kinky sex next to Aziraphale, -cool- his hands are not sweaty at all.

"I…" Aziraphale feels the blood rushing to his face. "I don't think that's a bad idea."

Crowley smiles devilishly 

_____________________________________

In the last two hours Aziraphale learned that BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).

An abbreviation that summed up the physical, psychological and usually sexual power-role-play with consensual participants. 

They watched some educational videos and learned that a popular film was made on the subject. 

If it were not for the fact that the empty bottles are lined up around him and he can no longer speak properly, Aziraphale would have discorporated due to an intense cheeks-blush. 

"How can people enjoy being treated like this by their partners," says Aziraphale as he silences a video of a women tied upside down and sucking on their master's finger. 

For two hours, Crowley had analyzed every microexpression of the angel, looking for a hint of desire. He could not help but imagine Aziraphale bending over against his will, leaving his naked body exposed and moaning his name. 

Thank Hell the laptop was in his lap. 

"Pornography is exssaggerated, angel," He replies. "But it's not that bad once you get usssed to it."

Aziraphale feels a rush through his body "have you try it?" 

Before Armageddon he would never have dared to ask such a personal question, but since then things had changed, they were on their side and belonged to no one. Besides, he could no longer lie to himself and admitted that the main reason he wanted to stop the End of the World was because he didn't want to lose Crowley

As for the demon's sexual history, he assumed he had some experience but Aziraphale didn't like to think about it much. 

"Not exactly" he curled his lips "But I'm not a ssstranger to lussst"

Crowley had performed seductions before to get the job done, but nothing compared to the pure joy and excitement described in the online magazines. 

He realized he was hissing . That only happens when he's drunk or nervous, and now he's both. 

"Which one are you?" He grins

"Pardon me?"

"A dominant or a submissive?, not that you can't be both but I just wonder what suits you."

"I," he fixes his collar bow " I don't know."

After a long pause and a sip of his drink, Aziraphale gazes at his companion. 

"And you… are you a dominant or submissive?" Aziraphale smiles with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm definitely dominat" he raises his chin and grins. 

"You're a bit soft, my dear" he mocks.

"Remember what happened the last time you called me "nice"?" 

Aziraphel nods, remembering a hard push against the wall. 

Crowley looks straight into a beautiful pair of blue eyes, "That's not even a glimpse of what I'm capable of."

"Show me."

Time slowed down and started again. 

Crowley pulls the laptop away and places his hands on Aziraphale's cheek then down to his lower lips. He bits his own in response. 

The demon presses a soft kiss on the angel's forehead while he tightens under his mouth.

"You want this," murmured the demon in his ear, feeling the alcohol leave his body, letting another warmth sensation take its place. 

"I do," Arizaphale answers, leaning closer. He put his hands on Crowley's chest, looks up, his eyes asking for a kiss. 

Their noses almost touch as Crowley runs his free hand through Aziraphale's hair.

The angel moves forward to find someone's mouth but instead is surprised by a sensation of wetness in his ear. Short licks and kisses from his lower ears to the base of the neck makes his cock twitch with pleasure, but he wants more, he wants to taste the demon's lips for the first time.

Crowley takes Aziraphale's face and presses their lips together.

They take a moment to get used to this new fantastic feeling. This kiss wasn't perfect or even harmonious, but it's theirs, and no one else's. Crowley closes his eyes and enjoys every little detail of Aziraphale's lips. Soft, wet, full, made by heaven. 

The demon bites Aziraphale bottom lip and he opens his mouth underneath him, letting Crowley stick his tongue inside to taste, and when Aziraphale tentatively slammed his tongue against Crowley's, he felt his back melting. This was better than anything they had picture on their heads, and only took them 6000 years. 

Crowley groaned, thawing against the sofa as the excitement began to burn in him. This kiss was no longer soft or sweet, it was hungry. The demon stops suddenly and Aziraphale makes an embarrassingly frustrating sound.

Crowley gets up and lets Aziraphale stretch his legs along the sofa, then climbs into his lap, feeling the heat rubbing under his crotch. 

The angel tries to find his lips again but the demon stops him, "No", puts a finger gently into Aziraphale's mouth "You must earn it".

"How" he asks, but it's quickly shut by a snake's tongue.

Crowley undoes his nifty tartan, leaving him with only a undershirt, which went just as fast. He kisses his way up to the angel's neck, enjoying every bit of his exposed skin. 

"Stay Still" he demands. 

The Angel shivers and Crowley is delighted by the view.

Aziraphale could feel a warm, quick breath coming back down, helpless sounds coming out of his mouth as his teeth bit into his nipple, nerves shooting along with every touch of the demon's lips, and involuntary movements of his hips under Crowley's weight that revealed his growing erection.

Crowley crawls down gently as only a snake can, and with a snap of Crowley's fingers, Arizaphale's pants are gone, he leaves a little kiss at the base of his cock, teasing its delicate tip with just a hint. He looks up to see those needy grey eyes.

Aziraphale shouted with pleasure, feeling his heart about to burst. That one wet touch made him tremble from head to toe. 

This is exactly what Crowley wanted. He stopped. 

"If you want more, you'll do as I say," said a rather authoritative voice. 

Aziraphale opened his eyes wide but did not dare to disobey or his body would explode, discorporation over the blue balls must not be pleasant. 

"On your knees," he demanded. 

Aziraphale moves in and stands between Crowley's tights. 

While Aziraphale was completely naked on the bookstore floor, Crowley was missing only his sunglasses. 

"Now unzip it," he lifts Aziraphale's head to face his "And be  _ nice _ ." 

He obeys and opens the demon's black pants, letting his boner out of its cage. Aziraphale feels the fingers on his head that tell him to move forward.

Once, twice, three times he went up and down as if he were licking a lollipop, switching from his mouth to his hand and sometimes cruelly mocking his testicles, for which he was punished, Crowley often pulled his hair to indicate the rhythm. 

“You are- oh -yesss” He mumbled 

Aziraphale feels strangely proud. 

With each grip Aziraphale went further and further as Crowley groaned in a kind of ecstasy he had only heard of before. Crowley raised his legs, as he climaxed, with the name of Aziraphale on his lips, lost in a scream. He felt as if he were expanding beyond the limits of his body, his orgasm surging through him, grabbing his muscles, stopping his heart for an instant.

He can't hold on any longer, he warned, and the angel said he was ready. 

After miraculously cleansing themselves with a wave of their hands, Crowley kissed Aziraphale tenderly.

"You've earned it." 

_________________________

"You should add an erotic section in the bookstore, Angel," says Crowley lying in bed while his head rests on Aziraphale's chest. 

After exploring each other's bodies for the rest of the night, Aziraphale suggested that cuddling was the next step in their relationship. Crowley thought he wasn't that kind of person, but in fact, he is, big time. 

He would add cuddling to his mental list of things he wished he had tried before, such as long bubble baths, Italian suits, and saying "I love you.

"Yes, yes, I must, my dear," he replied by stroking Crowley's hair.

"Besides, we should go to that meeting, maybe we could learn a thing or two."

"Just to discuss and study" he smiled, leaving a sweet kiss on his dearest lips.


End file.
